Stray Bullets
by the2julies
Summary: Written by Carly & Kassandra the2julies -Emily stood trapped. To her left, four security guards stood with their guns pointed at her, demanding she hand over her weapon, badge and the document. To her right her team– shocked, disappointed, angry, afraid
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Emily surveyed her surroundings with trepidation. There was almost nobody at all waiting at her gate. It felt weird, sitting here, knowing that she was about to take a commercial flight for the first time in years. How her life had changed.

She allowed herself no time to lament over her past mistakes and regrets however, as the message over the loud speakers asked her to board her plane headed for Germany. She picked up her bag and headed for the gate. It was then she heard a man's voice call her name and she spun around quickly, not able to recognise the voice immediately.

Was that Gideon waving at her from the adjacent gate? A quick glance at the screen over the counter informed her that his plane was headed for Egypt. What the hell was Gideon doing in Egypt? She wished she had the time to go over to him and talk. She hadn't seen him ever since he disappeared after the case with Tubbs.

"Emily!" he called again and as she waved back, she made a split-second decision. Surely she had a few more minutes before she 'had' to board the plane. After all she was Emily Prentiss, the plane would wait for her. It never entered her consciousness that the pilot would take off without her, so un accustomed to commercial air travel was she. As she neared the spot Gideon stood, she noticed he was not alone. He stood with his arm affectionately draped around a woman Emily took another moment to recognize- Her mother.

"Mother?" She asked incredulously. "What are you doing here?" And it took her a few seconds of dumfounded staring to realise she probably should at least say hello to Gideon. When she finally opened her mouth again to greet him, he had the kind of calm smile on his face that told her he knew exactly why it had taken her so long to so much as acknowledge him.

"Emily, Your mother and I…" He trailed off

"Yes?" Emily challenged, uncertain she really wanted to hear the rest of this explanation.

"Emily." Her mother spoke abruptly, commanding her instant attention. "Jason and I are engaged."

Gideon leaned forward as if on cue, and kissed the Ambassador. He saw the horror in Emily's eyes, but he had to play along for now. Besides he didn't know if he could trust Emily. He had heard rumours about the incident at the BAU. For the moment, he saw no option but to continue with the charade that he was in love with Ambassador Prentiss. After all, that was what he had to do.

In the back of his head, Gideon was glad to notice that Emily was about to leave the country. When all of this blew up, he didn't think he really wanted Emily to live through all of that. She deserved better, he thought. Even though the incident at the BAU made him wonder how much of the Emily Prentiss he'd known was left in the person standing in front of him. With all that had happened, he realised she must have been affected deeply. But to point a gun at one of her colleagues? He wondered what had driven her to that point.

"Emily dear, you look pale. Are you all right?" Asked the Ambassador.

"Uh, well.."Emily stammered, thinking she was not really all right at all.

"Don't you have a plane to catch?" Prompted Gideon, not wanting to prolong the uncomfortable encounter.

"Yes." Emily answered. On one hand she was glad to get away, on the other she needed some answers. As Emily looked over her shoulder, she saw it happen. Her plane. Taking off. Without her in it.

"Oh fuck." Emily muttered.

"Emily, That's unladylike." Her mother reprimanded.

"Was that your plane?" Gideon enquired, having noticed Emily's last look as her plane took off without her.

"Uh, yes." Emily murmured, somewhat reluctant to admit it.

"Oh." Was all the Ambassador had to say. "What did you want to go to Germany for anyway?" She added dismissively, and Emily could tell she wasn't really interested in the answer. But Gideon looked at her intently and it was for his sake that she actually tried to formulate some sort of response

"Visiting some friends." She said vaguely. The Ambassador stared at her, Gideon nodded.

"I know!" The Ambassador exclaimed suddenly, "Come to Egypt with us. We can all catch up, And you can catch a connecting flight to Germany in a few days. You must help with the wedding preparations. Isn't that right Jason?"

"Umm, I'm not sure Emily wants…" His voice trailed off as he was overpowered by the Ambassador pushing past him and taking Emily's hand

"Yes, let's get a ticket." The Ambassador exclaimed.

As she was dragged away by her mother, Emily cast a look over her shoulder at Gideon, the expression on her face somewhere between resigned, apologetic and disbelieving. Gideon just nodded at her, knowing how the Ambassador could be once she set her mind to something. It wasn't Emily's fault things had turned out the way they did. He just hoped that connecting flight would leave soon; he didn't want Emily to get caught up in everything that was happening around her mother. But on the other hand, Gideon was curious and couldn't wait for a chance to talk to Emily about what had happened at the BAU. He wondered if she'd come to terms with everything yet. How she was handling the aftermath of what had happened in Georgia. In Georgia, when they'd nearly lost JJ because someone had spiked their drinks and Emily had been too drugged to realize that JJ was being taken.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

3 Weeks Prior

Emily could hear the sound of her heart beating. It was all she could hear. The rest of her world was deadly silent. She looked around the room; Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Morgan, Garcia, JJ. Her team. Her family. Then back to the document in her hands. She stared at the words, blinking, not able to take it in. Her team waited for answers.

"Well, Prentiss?" Hotch demanded to know. "Have you anything to say about this matter?"

Emily could not answer, she had no words to begin.

Rossi spoke "I think it's quite clear these are the facts. Do you deny that, Agent Prentiss?"

Emily wanted to scream 'No! It's not true!' Trouble was – it was the truth. Most of it. There was no point lying to her colleagues, they would see right through it. She knew she had broken some very important rules. But she had no choice. It was her fault JJ was in danger in the first place. She had to make sure nothing happened to her ever again. That's why she had done it! But how could she explain that she just could not live without JJ? That JJ meant more to her than her job, the FBI, the law, her own life?

She couldn't. And so all she did was shake her head mutely until Rossi's sharp gaze finally pulled an answer out of her.

"No, I don't deny that."

After those words, silence fell again and she knew they were waiting for some kind of explanation. When none was forthcoming, Hotch finally cleared his throat and said "Well? Why did you do it, Agent Prentiss?"

The silence Emily met that question with was solid like a brick wall. He felt as if his words were like little stones flying towards it, hitting it and then falling to the ground without leaving so much as a scratch. It angered him, her impassive, expressionless face angered him. He was putting so much on the line for her to keep this a secret from Strauss, they all were. And she didn't even have the decency to tell them why she'd gotten them into this position in the first place. He could feel himself getting more and more worked up. He was just about to demand some kind of answer in a less than friendly manner, when instead, JJ's soft, caring voice broke the silence.

"Emily?" she prompted.

Emily turned her gaze to JJ, unable to look away. They all stood, waiting for answers, expecting some sort of justification. They deserved it. Emily had never felt like such a failure in her entire life as she did in that moment, unable to give them even one simple answer. But as soon as Emily's eyes locked with JJ's, the others disappeared from her consciousness. Emily took a hesitant step towards JJ, searching her eyes. If JJ had smiled at her, or looked at her kindly, given her the slightest hope that she might still be able to respect her, then maybe, she would have answered. While JJ's words were kind, her eyes were cold.

Emily realised in that moment, she had lost JJ already. Besides, what good would an explanation do? To drag JJ into it? To make her feel guilty? Emily had put her own needs above the law and Hotch would be right to dismiss her. And she could have lived with that. Barely. But to go through all this and lose JJ too? No. Emily turned, slowly, confidently, calmly walked out of the door.

It took Hotch a moment to react. She had left so naturally, so elegantly, that for a moment, he didn't realise what had happened. The others stood, looking to him. He reached for his phone, calling security. It broke his heart to do it like this – but she had broken his trust and the law, and offered no explanation, no reason, no apology to her team. She must realise what would happen if she tried to leave the building now, with her gun, her badge, the classified information in that document.

Hotch turned to follow - motioning for the rest of the team to stay put. Why put them through this ugly scene? Why humiliate Emily more than necessary? He had wasted his words, the others followed him swiftly down the hall.

Emily stood trapped. To her left, four security guards stood with their guns pointed at her, demanding she hand over her weapon, badge and the document. To her right her team – shocked, disappointed, angry, afraid.

"Emily, please." Garcia begged, tears in her eyes, worried her stubborn friend would get herself shot.

Emily looked to them, unable to live with their condemnation and pity. There was only one way out. What kind of life would she have? In jail? Her team hating her? JJ hating her? She slowly pulled her gun, but instead of handing it to security she picked it up and aimed it at her head.

Someone screamed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was Garcia. Emily could hear her sobbing, but her eyes were fixed on JJ. Wide, clear oceans of blue stared at her, tears pooling in them, spilling over and running down her cheek. Involuntarily, slowly, she raised her hand, as if to touch Emily. Emily could almost feel the touch of JJ's hand on her arm even though she was standing at the other end of the room.

"Emily" Morgan said firmly and took a step towards her. Her eyes ripped away from JJ's and focussed on the man that had been like a brother to her for the last two years. And now, she could see the plea in his eyes, the plea not to put all of them through this, the plea not to do what she so desperately felt was the only way out at that moment. She didn't know how to give him what he was asking for. He'd been so angry, he'd shouted and lashed out at her. And now here he was, coming towards her, asking her in the name of all of them to keep going even if she didn't have anything left to keep going for.

The gun in her hand trembled, she could feel her insides clenching and from the corner of her eye, she could see Hotch gesticulating wildly to someone. Garcia was still sobbing and Reid just looked too shocked to react in any way. Her team. Her family. The people she had lost. The people she had given up because she'd thought it was the only way to keep JJ safe. And now here was JJ, safe and sound but with a look of utter terror on her face that Emily knew she would never forgive herself for. She took another step back, needing to put some distance in between herself and those people she cared for so deeply. There was no way back. She pressed the gun more firmly against her temple, the more she felt her hands shake, the harder she needed to feel the cold mouth of the gun against her skin.

"Emily." a trembling voice whispered.

"JJ…" Emily said, her voice breaking in between the two letters.

"Please, Emily, put down the gun."

"I can't." Emily answered helplessly_. 'How can I?_' she thought. _'It's all that I have left.' _

"Please, trust me, Emily." JJ said, stepping closer. "Please."

"Please step back." The security guard ordered JJ, but Hotch sent the man a look that silenced him. This day had been gruelling enough, he didn't want any blood shed. He trusted JJ was the best person to get through to Emily in that moment.

Morgan watched on, as JJ moved closer, he saw Emily stiffen in fear. He pulled his own gun. He took aim before Hotch noticed, Hotch was too focussed on the girls. Morgan was a good shot. He would just aim for the gun, shoot it down away from Emily's head. He was confident she wouldn't be badly injured. And then, something happened.

Emily's eyes widened in fear. She was longing for JJ, but frightened too. She pointed the gun at the blonde woman still metres away from her. She would never hurt JJ. She just couldn't bear her to come any closer.

The security guards drew their weapons, Morgan aimed his gun and Emily held her own gun pointed at JJ. Then, there was a shot.

Present day.

On a plane somewhere above the Atlantic, Gideon noticed Emily starting to fret in the seat beside his. At first, he was inclined to ignore it, knowing how embarrassed she'd be if he actually woke her up now. But when she started thrashing around and kicked him in the sides with her elbow for the first time, he decided it was probably better to wake her up. She was moaning and whimpering in her sleep and her whole face was one of helpless terror. For a moment, it threw him to see Emily so different from the way she usually presented herself to the world. When she was sleeping, there was no compartmentalizing to hide behind, no Prentiss-mask to keep up. And somehow it scared him. He'd never seen this side to her and he was so used to cool, calm and collected Agent Prentiss that he didn't quite know how to deal with emotional, troubled and unguarded Emily.

The second blow to his sides threw him out of his reverie however and he knew he just had to wake her. Slowly, cautiously, he reached over and lightly touched her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" the Ambassador inquired suspiciously, looking at him with a critical eye.

"I'm trying to wake her. She's having a nightmare." He explained, not sure if Emily would actually want her mother to know. But he couldn't have the Ambassador being suspicious and withdrawing from him. Not now, when he was so close to completing his assignment and finally getting back to his life – a life that didn't involve Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss.

Deep inside her troubled nightmare, Emily stood in the hall of the FBI building.

One second she had the gun pointed at JJ, scared of her coming closer, of her breaking through the wall of finality she had erected in between herself and this cruel reality she saw herself confronted with. And the next second, the gun was ripped from her hand by a sharp, hot jolt of something against the metal handle. It happened so fast she only noticed she wasn't holding the gun anymore when it scattered across the floor and came to a stop somewhere between her and Garcia's feet. And she only fully realized she hadn't been able to prevent her stiff index finger from pulling the trigger when the second shot rang through the deathly silent hall.

Her hand hurt like hell, she'd probably sprained her wrist. But her hand was the farthest thing from her mind as she raised her gaze from the gun on the floor and looked up into JJ's wide open eyes, her face frozen in horror, her entire frame starting to shake.

Emily's gaze moved slightly past JJ's head and with her heart dropping into a bottomless abyss she noticed the tiny, circular hole in the glass wall, mere centimetres beside where JJ was standing.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A very awkward week had gone by since Emily's spontaneous decision to fly to Egypt with Gideon and her mother. During the day she was mostly left alone, which suited her just fine. But at dinner the Ambassador insisted on her daughters company. Emily didn't really see why though, because all the Ambassador did was fawn over Gideon. Emily was embarrassed. And there was something in Gideon's eye when he looked at her that made her feel uncomfortable. As if she were a puzzle he was trying to solve. It unnerved her to realise he was profiling her, she hated it. But she also knew that he just couldn't help it. It was too deeply ingrained into his entire being. A reflex. As natural as breathing.

And so when Gideon knocked on her door and tentatively stepped into her suite ( She'd given in to the ambassador in the end, who would've thought?) for the third time that week with some meaningless question on his lips and that alert searching look in his eyes, she didn't throw him out immediately. Instead she answered whatever question he posed and waited for him to leave.

She had wanted to go out into the big local market that was taking place in the main street. The swirling colours, the exotic smells, that reminded her of her childhood and the dry heat all seemed like a good place to lose herself. It was as if the more she immersed herself into this foreign, yet vaguely familiar, culture- the more distance she could place between herself and the horrific events back in DC. Yes, Emily really wanted to go the market. Too bad Gideon had chosen that day to finally bite the bullet (her mind recoiled from the words as she thought them) and ask straight out about what had happened.

"Sounds like you already know the answer." Emily replied, concluding that Gideon must know something about it to even ask the question.

"Not really." He answered. "I just heard there was some…trouble." He finished tactfully, trying not to sound so desperate for answers. He really needed the facts to help him make his decision. Should he trust Emily and let her in on his assignment? Could she even provide helpful information? Or would she be a hindrance? He felt increasingly protective towards the Ambassadors daughter, and wanted to warn her to leave, to go far away until this all blew over. But would she go without question? How loyal would she be to her mother?

"Gideon." Emily began, turning away so she would not have to make eye contact. "It was not my finest hour, and I'd really rather not discuss it." She felt bad at her cold response as he suddenly placed a caring hand on her shoulder. She felt his concern, and wanted to give him the answers he was seeking. But on the other hand, she was sick to death of people demanding answers from her. 'What have you done Emily? Why did you do it Emily? How could you Emily?" She had nothing for him.

"You can trust me Emily." He gently assured her. And suddenly to Emily he appeared almost…fatherly. It hit her all over again- Gideon as her step father!

She turned the conversation back on to him. "So, what the hell is up with you and my mother? I mean, seriously, what are you thinking?"

"It's not what you think Emily." He answered softly, his eyes pleading with her to believe him.

"It isn't? Well it sounded quite…distinctive to me. Thanks." Emily snapped at him.

"Emily." He said again and stepped closer to her. The caring tone in his voice threw her off balance. If only she could tell him.

"Gideon." She said, and this time there was a plea in her voice, a plea to let it go. Because she didn't know how to answer him without breaking. If only he didn't look so genuine in his concern.

Well, that would change soon enough if she actually opened up to him. He was only trying to solve a puzzle, she told herself. As soon as he had his answers, she'd be of as much interest to him as yesterdays left over milk.

"No," Was all she would say, as she took another step back until the coffee table was between them.

Sadly he watched her retreat. It was obvious she wanted to talk about it, needed to talk about it even. But she didn't trust him. And that stung. But then he thought again. Thought about the pleading expression in her eyes, the cracked defence walls she was clinging to so desperately. And he realised it wasn't so much him she didn't trust (even though his 'relationship' with the Ambassador certainly didn't help matters on that). It was herself, her own self control, she didn't trust. And it saddened him to see her confidence come apart like that.

It made him wonder. Wonder if he had any right to pull her into his assignment on top of everything else? It didn't seem fair to ask for help at a time like this. It also didn't seem fair to have her staying here, consequently having to observe the whole thing come un done. He wanted her to leave before things got ugly. But he didn't quite know how to put her on a plane without out either giving her the impression she was no longer wanted here, the third wheel that was finally sent away, or without alerting her to the fact that there was something going on. And her deep dark eyes kept fixing him from behind the coffee table with an expression he didn't know how to read.

The moment was interrupted as the Ambassador burst through the door.

"Well well well, what are you two up to?"

"Nothing, dearest." Gideon answered kissing her on the cheek. "I was just getting to know your lovely daughter."

"Yes, I'm sure." She replied, unconvinced.

"Emily, must you insist on dressing like a homeless person? Look at yourself in the mirror!"

"Yes mother." Emily murmured in response, absentmindedly. Meaning it as an agreement on what ever her mother was ranting about.

"Yes? Yes you must insist on dressing like a homeless person?" The ambassador challenged. "I sometimes wonder if you were switched at birth, and my real daughter is out there somewhere, properly presented and dressed appropriately."

Emily sighed, she let the words wash over her, telling herself she was too old to let her mothers disapproval and disappointment crush her spirit, that she had bigger and better things to worry about than this bitter and twisted old woman.

It was Gideon who saw the flicker of pain in her eyes. Emily hadn't realised she even felt it, let alone displayed it. In that moment, Emily looked to him like a broken little girl, and he could not stand by and let the Ambassador get away with speaking to her like this.

" Hey." He protested.

Both women looked to him, shocked. No one reprimanded Ambassador Prentiss like that.

"Excuse me?" The Ambassador demanded of her fiancé.

Quickly Gideon remembered himself, his assignment. And tried to make peace.

"Ladies, It's such a beautiful day for all this arguing, how about we all have lunch?" He suggested.

The Ambassador eyed him suspiciously, not impressed. Gideon had been thinking only moment ago, that perhaps if he could not get through tot Emily, could not be the one she opened up to and let help her, Perhaps he would hint for the Ambassador to talk to her daughter. But looking at the cold way the woman treated Emily, he realised this would be the last thing Emily needed.

"I'll meet you later. I need to talk to me daughter. Alone." The ambassador dismissed him.

He had no choice. He left.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Georgia- 2 months prior

Emily sat in her motel room, relieved to finally be alone. They had been questioning her all evening. Insisting she must have seen something, must be able to give them a lead to find JJ. Over and over they'd asked her to recount the evening, until the words she was telling seemed strangely detached from the actual events that had taken place. Not that there was much she could recall anyway. From the first drink on, everything was just a blur. She remembered JJ's blue eyes sparkling at her from across the table and then – nothing.

But they didn't seem to believe her. Relentlessly she was asked the same questions and relentlessly she gave the same answers: "I don't know anything… I didn't see anything." It was beyond draining. It was painful. It was tormenting. It was unbearable. And finally she could hear the tremble in her voice, the crack that broke the word "anything" in two.

It was as if everyone in the room was awakening from some sort of trance. For the first time in this whole hell of an evening they actually looked at her. And it must have been so obvious, everything she felt must have been written on her face like a headline announcement in the Guardian. Suddenly there was an arm around her shoulder, Morgan was telling her how it wasn't her fault, how everything would be alright and how they would find JJ in no time. She wished she could believe him.

Her lack of faith made her shiver. It wasn't as if she didn't trust the team, it wasn't as if she didn't trust JJ to be able to take care of herself. It was something different. A deep, primal fear that left no room for things like trust and faith.

The others soon followed Morgan's example. Garcia took her hand and squeezed it gently. She spoke kind soothing words that Emily didn't let sink into her head. She was close enough to tears, and felt the sudden, urgent need to push them all away. She couldn't stand the way they all stood around her, their concern and compassion, mothering her, looking at her as if they thought she would break. It was tormenting in a different way to the previous inquisition. She longed for that scene back, the forceful way they spoke, growing irritated with her, and her own bitter response resounding continuously. 'I don't know anything, I didn't see anything, I'm completely useless and entirely to blame. Hate me for it."

But as the team now stood around her, touching her, whispering to her, looking at her with such pity in their eyes, all she wanted was to disappear. It was intolerable. For reasons that she couldn't even begin to understand, this cut her so much more deeply than the harsh questioning and accusations.

She was relieved to be finally alone in her room. But still, her mind just couldn't let it go. She paced back and forth. Trying desperately to remember, to think. The harder she tried the further away her fragments of memory slipped. Emily hated herself completely in that moment. She had failed JJ of all people. How could she have let something happen to the most precious person in her life? Eventually her legs grew weary, and she sat, staring out the window. Thinking that out there, somewhere, in a dark and distant place, was JJ. It did no good trying to block out the picture of the many horrific things that may have befallen JJ. Emily played them over and over through her head, one by one, each and every ghastly despicable thing she has seen since joining the BAU. Emily reminded herself that she was the one who let JJ be taken, who didn't even blink as it happened, as the most important person in her world was snatched away, and couldn't even remember one thing to help bring JJ home safe. She was the one who deserved to be in trouble right now. Not JJ. JJ didn't deserve this.

Emily tried desperately to picture JJ, picture the last words they spoke to one another. But there was nothing there, it was all a blank. Emily added that to the list of her crimes, forgetting the last words JJ had spoken to her. Perhaps the last words ever. How could she let them slip away unnoticed, just as JJ had slipped away?

Suddenly, the silence was broken by the sharp ring of the phone. Emily startled. Who could it be at this hour? The team had finally let her off, Garcia had walked her to her door and offered to stay. What did it mean if someone was calling her now? Could it mean they had found JJ? And if they did, what if she wasn't alright? What if they found her, but it was too late already?

Emily longed to know, needed to know, but at the same time the least thing in the world she wanted to do right now was to pick up the receiver. But still, she needed to know. She owed JJ at least that. With trembling hands she grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

There was silence on the other end. Part of Emily was relieved it wasn't Hotch telling her they'd found JJ's body. Part of her was disappointed it wasn't Hotch telling her they'd found JJ and she was alright. But the largest part of her was terrified.

"Hello?" she repeated.

She could hear something. There was a shuffle of feet on the other end of the line. A gasp. Emily's heart stopped. It was JJ. She couldn't have been more sure of it if she was seeing the whole scene right in front of her. JJ. JJ was alive. But her momentary relief was cut short as a piercing scream rang through the phone.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Emily waited for her mother to begin another lecture about…whatever. Instead, she was totally unprepared as her mother opened her mouth.

"Isn't he divine Emily? I've never felt like this in my life. I really love him, more than any man I have ever loved. And if I find out you've been sneaking around trying to seduce him behind my back, I'll disown you. Cut you off completely. God knows why I'm worrying? You think he would be interested in you? The way you dress? Look at yourself Emily! Honestly where is your self respect?"

Yeah well it wasn't as if she knew, Emily thought to herself. Somewhere along the way she just seemed to have lost it; along with her integrity, her confidence, her team's trust, and her. But none of that she could say to the judgemental, disdainful woman in front of her.

"No mother, you've got nothing to worry about." She half agreed, half assured. Geesh, she and Gideon? Sometimes she honestly wondered what planet her mother lived on. It felt strange hearing her talk about her former senior colleague like that. Her mother said she 'loved' him. Emily didn't quite know what to make of that. From personal experience and years of observation, Emily had concluded that the Ambassador _might_ know the definition of the word love, but that the feeling itself was as foreign to her as snowflakes to the grains of sand in a desert. But then again, she'd said 'Like no one before', so maybe it had actually started snowing in the Sahara. Somehow, Emily doubted it.

"Well, good." The ambassador said coldly. "Just so we're clear."

"We are, mother." Emily repeated, just glad to have this conversation over with. Her mother's love life wasn't something she was very keen on discussing.

"Good." The Ambassador repeated as well. An awkward silence followed. Mother and daughter stared at each other, and Emily thought that any random person they passed on the street wouldn't be more of a stranger than they were to each other in that moment. And not for the first time she wondered, what on earth had possessed her to come here in the first place?

Meanwhile, Gideon listened in to this conversation on his head phones, as he had planted a bug in Emily's room. He felt momentarily bad as he was invading her privacy, but dismissed it. He had hoped to hear something useful to the case, although he equally hoped Emily wouldn't be involved in any way or have any knowledge of the heinous crimes the ambassador was covering up. He was completely unprepared to hear the two women discussing him, as if he was some prize in a raffle. He disliked the way the Ambassador spoke to her daughter. He disliked a great many things about the Ambassador. But it was nothing he could use in his case.

Frustrated, he decided he could make one more attempt at finding out what had transpired exactly at the BAU. There was one person he thought would give the most insightful and unbiased account, so he picked up the phone, and dialled that person.

When Reid picked up the phone, Gideon knew instantly that something was wrong. He hadn't expected much, after all he'd left with just a letter for the boy-genius he'd grown so very close to. So Gideon didn't expect the boy to fall over himself with joy at his call. What he didn't expect either was for Reid to sound upset to the point of incomprehension, worried to the point of panic. Something had happened and Gideon's throat constricted with a dark sense of foreboding. The events at the BAU went out of the window in his mind.

"Reid, what is it? What's wrong?" He inquired, less gentle than he would've wanted to be.

"Gideon? It's… it's JJ. She's been shot."

He didn't know what to say.

Emily relished the moment of peace and quiet, finally being on her own. She could not wait to book that flight to Germany away from her mother and her mother's new love. She cursed under her breath as she heard the insistent knock on her door. She ignored it, believing it was her mother returning to lecture her.

The knocking grew louder, more forceful, and she could no longer resist opening it, ready to yell at the person and slam the door in their face.

Emily was relieved to see it was not her mother. But slightly annoyed to find Gideon had returned. She hoped he would not start with his incessant questioning again.

"May I come in?" He asked.

Emily was reluctant to stand aside and let him in. She was curious as to what had caused the look of horror on his face. But at the same time she realised in a deep place inside her mind that she did not really want to know that answer. She turned to walk inside without inviting him in. He followed behind her, closing the door behind himself.

As Emily turned to face him, she realised she was fidgeting. Her hands would not remain still. Her heart was racing. She took a breath, telling herself she was being crazy.

Gideon cleared his throat nervously. Emily saw his discomfort; it only served to escalate her own anxiety.

"Can we sit?" Gideon suggested.

Emily wasn't certain she wanted to sit with Gideon for this discussion, but she did so without protest.

Gideon silently caught her gaze with his dark penetrating eyes.

"JJ has been shot." He finally announced.

Those four words plunged Emily back into the scene weeks ago.

JJ… shot…

She lost track of her surroundings, the conversation with Gideon. Completely disoriented to time and place, the images in her mind held her captive. She had no control as memories came flooding back, both real and imagined.

She felt her own heart racing, felt panic rising, felt the shame.

Felt every hair stand on end, every muscle taunt as JJ extended her hand towards her, felt like she couldn't breathe as JJ took a step in her direction.

Felt her tired arm aching as she held that weapon pointed towards the most precious person in her life.

She heard the shot ringing loudly, engulfing the silence completely.

She felt the shock as the gun was ripped from her hand. Felt the sharp pain in her wrist.

Emily raised her eyes from the gun lying on the floor at her feet. Before she could even see JJ, her eyes caught sight of the blood, slowly spreading from where it was pooling under JJ's feet towards her. Thick, sticky, red liquid running across the pristine white floor. Inching closer and closer to her. The first drops seemed almost close enough to touch her feet. She could smell it, almost taste it. It made her sick.

Fear shattered her heart, images of blood filled her head. Pools of blood rising and growing, never receding, swallowing her whole as soon as she allowed that first drop to taint her. Her eyes were fixed on the red droplets, and she instinctively stumbled a few steps backward.

Those two steps back gave her time and space to look up. Her eyes wandered up all of JJ's body, tracing the thin red line that ran from her chest down to her heels. And then, she saw the bullet wound. Right where JJ's heart had been beating only minutes before. She saw the crisp white shirt, now stained and blood soaked. Finally her eyes found JJ's face. Only it wasn't JJ's face. It's wasn't JJ. Emily found herself staring at some lifeless creature, with a vacant dead stare, cold empty eyes fixed on Emily without really seeing her. A trickle of bright blood dripping from the mouth. That pale lifeless dead creature, that couldn't be JJ.

And in her mind Emily heard the words, relentlessly repeating their cruel taunting accusation. 'Emily, how could you?'


End file.
